For those who don’t know yet
01/30/2012 § Leave a comment
I’m writing this for you cause I really want to let you know.
However, I cant just approach you and talk cause 1) I know you dont wanna talk 2) you might feel like everyone’s just trying to tell you what you should do 3) why should you believe me when i too had a lot of wrong decisions made? 4) we’ve had this conversation before but today I’m writing it down so you can read it again and again instead of us telling u again and again. I’d also like to share this to my readers cause I’m pretty sure at one point or another, you’ve gone through something like this 😉
First, I only know this because I love you too much to not care and think hard for your sake. I know how you feel. And I know feelings are not very easy to control, but actions are. Really, I’m not telling you you’re too young to love or you have no idea what real love is in spite of your age. I know love can be so strong at such young age. However, I wish you’d also see the love for your family and the love for your self. If you are telling me that you know what you’re feeling is love, then prolly, you can tell how much love you have for your past and your future. Love is such a big word, and it only gets bigger as you grow older. Please, give yourself a chance to really get to know love beyond the fleeting smitten feeling. Give yourself that chance just so you get more of the love you have now.
Second, I’m just very scared. I’m very scared that you’re investing your time in the wrong things. Instead of having to focus on school and youth, I feel like you have this love above everything else. College, aside from the fact that you’re in college to get a degree for your future carreer, is about getting to know your self, getting ready for a life on your own, getting to know real friends and getting to fall in love. And dami nun and you might be missing out on other things cause of this. Stop wasting your time trying to hurry with things that should be worth the wait.
Third, i wouldn’t be feeling so badly about this if it hadn’t be for the “trouble” this ad caused you. All the while, I thought you knew what was good for you considering how young you still are. Anyway, a huge damage has been done and it’s over so nothing we could do to take that back. I just dont understand why you did not even take the time to make up for it or at least be sorry for it. No, you don’t have to get depressed over it, that is not helpful pero out of respect for the hurt you’ve caused everyone,was it too much to ask for you to show how much you’d want to make up for it? Are you just letting that crack go deeper and deeper until there’s just no going back anymore and before you know it, it has already torn you too far apart from your family?
Fourth, I know how it feels to love but for what’s better, people have forced me to keep that love to myself and hope for what’s good for the family. Honestly, I still feel the struggle right now. Every minute actually, but how can I keep a love that hurts so many people? How can I keep loving a person who hurts everyone who loves me? In my rational mind, I know all the reasons why I should stop. And because it’s too difficult everyday I still repeat these things over and over until I stop feeling sorry for myself. I can’t stop loving someone. But I can stop all the things I did for that love that hurts the people who love me.It’s difficult and it’s not something that stops when I want to, but it’s not a question of love anymore. It’s a question of the good thing to do.
I know it’s been sounding like this is a battle for your family but in truth, I find these things helpful for you. Having to stick with the love of your family is something very hard to do cause 1) they want the best for us 2) the good things fir us aren’t always the fun and easy things. But that’s exactly the case. Having to go through what’s difficult because you’re currently faced with a trial is what would make you strong. Not only strong but stronger, wiser and better. Cherish the love for your family because after the smitten years, the wedding, the couple phase, it would always come down to being a family and your love for your own family. The kilig would pass, and then what will you have? If the love you know is this smitten feeling, what will you do when real problems come up? Like the problem you SHOULD be facing right now?
Take this challege to let yourself grow. If this is the time that youve gotten yourself in trouble the this is not YET the time for that. This is your chance to be better. Everyone who has gotten hurt has been again supporting you so you can be better. But why are you doing this to us now? I’m not asking you to stop. I’m asking you to think hard to know what should be done.
About the title: this is because you are yet to know why we try over and over to tell you these things. But I know one day you’ll get it.
ps. You’ll know this is for you because